Lack of self-confidence in children could be due to parents having toxic parenting. You have to recognize the characteristics from an early age so that they can be dealt with.
If parents force themselves too hard to implement parenting patterns according to their wishes, without caring about the child's mental state, it is called Toxic Parenting. Thus, children can suffer from mental illness.
Toxic Parenting Has the following characteristics
Have you ever seen a child not confident enough to sing in front of the class, even though his voice is good? Things like this are a condition where the child has been impacted by toxic parents. Recognize this from an early age before children become mentally ill.
In fact, children's behavior can become aggressive and unloving towards their own parents. This can happen due to toxic parents. If a child has been exposed to toxic parenting, he will grow up to be an unhappy child.
If something like that happens, the child will lose self-confidence and grow into an introverted person. Therefore, parents must introspect themselves, have they established the correct parenting pattern? Maybe you have been doing toxic parenting without realizing it. Get to know the following characteristics:
- Selfish Parents
Do you always put your own interests first? If yes, don't overdo it because children also have different wants and needs from their parents.
Wise parents always prioritize their children's interests before their own interests. This also fosters a high sense of empathy in children. - Justification Theory
The majority of families in Indonesia use justification theory in educating children. Parents are always right. Children are always wrong because they think their parents don't understand anything. So the child's opinion is definitely wrong.
Like it or not, children have to follow their parents' rules. Because parents already have experience. So parents' words cannot be refuted. Parents apply this justification theory for their children to obey. Going against your parents means a big sin. - Competitive in Nature
Sometimes parents demean and compare the achievements of themselves and their children. Meanwhile the child has worked hard. Parents emphasize that they must achieve higher levels of achievement.
For example, a child only gets 3rd place in his school. Then tell his parents. Unfortunately, the parents' reaction did not look happy. In fact, they tend to encourage children to achieve even higher achievements like themselves or their older siblings. - Embarrassing
Without realizing it, parents have or often embarrass their children. For example, telling everyone and their neighbors and immediate environment that their child is difficult to manage, rarely studies, and is against their parents.
Even though the aim is to confide in neighbors, this can embarrass the child. Children tend to isolate themselves because they are not so good compared to their friends. - Blaming Children and Criticizing Them
Toxic parenting can be seen if the parents always blame the child. Even when the house is not tidy, parents blame their children for being lazy about cleaning. Even labeling children as lazy.
This will hurt the child. Children are even more uncontrolled and feel lazy about doing things, whether it's homework or don't want to help their parents. Because dirty words had entered his mind. - Not Respecting Children's Efforts
The next characteristic of toxic parenting is not respecting children's efforts. When a child is required to be in first place, he will study hard. Because parental orders absolutely must be carried out.
After all, the hard work he had done did not bear sweet fruit. Even if the child's school grades drop, they will even be ranked 4th, toxic parents will not appreciate the child's efforts. - Always Demanding Children
Another characteristic of toxic parenting is that parents always make demands on their children. Especially if these parents have the ambition to be better in their community. So that you can show off because you have outstanding children.
That way, the parents will get the credit. Meanwhile, children must bear the burden demanded by their parents. This can make him stressed, so that children tend to become moody. - Committing Physical and Verbal Violence
Not a few children experience psychological trauma because they receive physical and verbal violence from their parents. Parents do not hesitate to hit them if their children make mistakes or call them harsh words.
Even though parents' intentions are good, this attitude can invite psychological trauma. Even when you grow up you will always remember it. Children will grow up to be rude individuals. - Supervising Children Too Tightly
Whatever children's activities must be under the control of parents. Even the smallest things, parents must know. This attitude makes children uncomfortable. Then in the end you feel uncomfortable.
This is a characteristic of toxic parents. Children have their own privacy, even though they are our flesh and blood. Children also have a private domain that they do not want to interfere with. - Children are Not Our Supporters
Toxic parents will reveal all the secrets of their life. Starting from finances even to adult matters. The goal is to vent. But children will not understand.
Therefore, do not ever mention any problems to your child. Because children are not their support system. In fact, we are the support system for them. Don't stress your child out because of this. - Labeling Children with Bad Names Until Children Feel Uncomfortable
Even though the intention is to joke, labeling a child with a bad name because of his physical appearance or actions can make the child uncomfortable and feel embarrassed.
Call your child good, because saying that is a prayer. Remember no child is born perfect. There will always be flaws, whether in attitude or physical. However, definitely don't call your child bad names.
Being a parent is not easy because children are great imitators of their parents. So don't give bad or toxic parenting to your child which can cause him to behave badly.
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