Efforts to control yourself not to blame your partner brings many short and long term benefits .
As parents, we often face parenting challenges. Starting from a child who doesn't want to obey until the baby faces a small accident when Mom and Dad are on duty to look after him. When situations like that occur, it's easy to blame a partner who we think is neglectful. The act of throwing responsibility is also possible. In fact, the effort to refrain from blaming your partner can have a positive impact on the relationship between husband and wife as well as children with parents.
Moreover, the act of blaming:
• will trigger the partner's childhood memories of anxiety, anger, and shame,
• reflect on our unrealistic self-expectations,
• is a form of our emotional immaturity, and
• will make the child feel that his actions or bad experiences are due to the incompetence of one of the parents if the blaming action occurs in front of the Little One.
The things above are the reason we don't need to blame the couple. Moreover, by avoiding these tendencies, we reap short-term and long-term benefits, you know.
Humans tend to react with negative emotions when they feel threatened. A child's brain alone interprets an angry, punitive parent as a threat to his or her safety. Likewise, adults are prone to linking their partner's anger to the experience that threatens the child.
you and your partner need to maintain adult-level interactions. Instead of talking like an angry parent at a child, direct your brain to communicate with your partner as you would your peers. That way, we can prevent negative emotions and produce a rational response.
While the behavior of a partner may seem worthy of blame, the act of blaming reflects our unrealistic expectations. When you are not happy with your partner, check again, our expectations. This advice holds true even if our expectations feel reasonable and they are approved by friends and family.
Source: Parentalk.id